Those of us who have or are in the process of healing trauma will reach a point wherein we must address that fractured bit of ourselves (created when we were so very young) to protect us from the assaults we suffered.
That alter ego served a vital purpose in our lives. It protected us from the emotional and psychological damage we would have otherwise suffered. It helped shape us, mold us into who we became, whether for good or for bad.
When that day comes, to say goodbye, we are then able to see the part our alter ego played, and continues to play, in shaping our outlook, our visions of others and ourselves, and the walls it has erected to keep us safe. Most importantly, we are able to see that perhaps it was a good design, after all.
But it is not the best design our Father God has for us. The best is yet to come. The best is the person we will become after our protective alter ego has said goodbye.
We cannot condemn our alter ego for the part it played in helping us become who we ultimately did not what want to be. We can’t look at our younger self and apply death, disdain, or condemnation. We can’t kill our alter ego.
Rather we must reform Dylan Thomas’ words, saying:
Do go gentle into that good night. Though you are old of age, sleep and rest at your close of day. Be at peace with the dying of the light.
https://poets.org/poem/do-not-go-gentle-good-night
Scripture teaches us that we are to die to self, but it also teaches us that there is no condemnation for those of us who are in Christ Jesus. Therefore, we are forbidden to condemn ourselves, and especially those parts of us God allowed to be created for the purpose of protecting our soul and spirit.
Give your fractured self a peaceful and respectful wake. Look forward to the renewing of the mind, the new creation that God has designed us to ever be evolving into.
A Recovering Legalist 