If there is one word, one idea that I could promulgate to your soul, it would be this:
Don’t study the bible: comprehend it with your heart.
It’s like being married and watching your spouse cook you dinner for 30 years. You’ve learned every recipe, every ingredient, and every mixing and combining process. You understand when to mix, when to fold, and when to cut. You’ve learned so much you can cook better than your spouse with one hand tied behind your back.
But you never comprehended the why of baking pies and cakes, the purpose of sumptuous dinners, and tasteful picnics.
You never comprehended your spouse’s purpose or character.
In other words, you studied the wrong thing. You understood with your mind, but you never comprehended with your heart.