Tag: legalism

A Legalistic Retrospective

In the opinion of the Religious, in what ways am I judged and responsible for my sins?

To My Wife:  

Thank you for standing by me through the years, and through these struggles.

Thank you for encouraging me.

Thank you for lifting me up in prayer to our Heavenly Father.

What I most resent about my Baptist upbringing is the rigid legalism ingrained in me, serving as a constant yardstick against which I measured my worth.

Throughout my life, I operated under the belief that an angry —or, at the very least, discontented—God was judging me for not meeting His divine standards. The teachings of Sam Cathy resonated in my soul strongly:

  • If you skip church, God will not forgive you.
  • When you willfully sin, there is no sacrifice.
  • After we’re born again, God does not separate our sins from us as far as the East is from the West.
Sam Cathy, paraphrased – about mid-way through; 20-30 minutes

I dreaded facing the Judgment Seat of Christ, knowing that God would list all my moral and spiritual failings, showcasing them as the wood, hay, and stubble that evidenced my inherent unworthiness. Surely the gold, silver, and precious stones could only be reserved for those who did God’s work, those in the ministry – and perhaps a few special others.

I always assumed that my few accomplishments would ultimately be negated; after all, how could someone as inherently flawed as myself ever please God?

Yet, it was nothing short of infuriating and gut-wrenching when I realized that my so-called ‘sins’ were not simply the result of Adam’s original failing or my deliberate straying from the path. No, they were the ghastly outcomes of unresolved emotional and physical trauma that had silently guided my life, unbeknownst to me. The absolute atrocity of the unjust judgment and constant condemnation for elements of my life that were never in my control filled me with silent rage.

In other words, and in the opinion of the Sam Cathys of this world, in what ways am I judged and responsible for my sins, which were unwittingly guided, influenced, and directly seeded by the sins of others who, with malice and forethought, intentionally harmed me? For us, that’s a dark valley journey where only the fearless may walk and ponder1.

So here I am, the Recovering-Legalist, still recovering. I’m not as naive to believe that a world given to sin does not influence our decisions nor the spiritual death of our souls. But neither am I so naive as to think that my worldview, and consequently my broken belief systems that informed my actions, were purely my doing.

For I now understand that I had help. The people who assaulted me helped. The people who molested me helped. The Baptists who taught me legalism and condemnation helped. The Sam Cathys of religion, who taught me to earn the graciousness of God beyond the cross, helped.

I had help to get to where I found myself.

But today, I have found myself in the presence of the unwavering graciousness and mercy of God, who lifted me out of the pit of mirey clay.

Who, by the way, also raised someone else who found themselves in a very similar pit. A person to whom I will be eternally thankful. A person who helped me find, express, and heal the pain lingering in my soul.

You know who you are. Thank you.

  1. Hebrews 4:12 (AMP) For the word of God is living and active and full of power [making it operative, energizing, and effective]. It is sharper than any two-edged sword, penetrating as far as the division of the soul and spirit [the completeness of a person], and of both joints and marrow [the deepest parts of our nature], exposing and judging the very thoughts and intentions of the heart. ↩︎

A Brief Synopsis of Modern, Western Christianity

We\’ve exchanged the higher purpose of making Disciples and Worshipers for making Christians.

The problem is this: to make a modern, Western Christian, we must add our doctrine, our Traditions of Men and our varied philosophies in order to successfully mold one into our image.  We call them Baptists, Methodists, Presbyterians and Catholics – just to name a few.

This is precisely why The Church, and most Christians, are almost universally known more for an adherence of a given set of rules than for Grace or Love.  They demand adherence to form and function, rules of law rather than being known because of their love.

It is why we, as Church Members, demand purity over substance, demonstration over Love.  We demand that our new members clean themselves up and demonstrate proper, spiritual etiquette before being accepted into the clique.

In another vernacular, it\’s known as legalism – a system practically void of Grace and Love; a system designed to improve the external to acceptable standards, to shackle the broken hearted and obfuscate the Truth that could set them free.

God does not desire our worship, and He does not force people to worship Him.  God desires worshipers, not worship.  There is a distinct and significant difference.  Anyone can worship anything.  But only a true worshiper of God is changed from the inside out, into the image of Christ – a true Disciple.

It is the difference between tying fruit onto a tree with string that rots and is good for nothing, and becoming the tree that bears fruit to nourish all who partake of it.

\”But an hour is coming, and now is, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth; for such people the Father seeks to be His worshipers.\”  (John 4:23)  

\”and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free\” (John 8:32) 

\”These signs will accompany those who have believed: in My name they will cast out demons, they will speak with new tongues; they will pick up serpents, and if they drink any deadly poison, it will not hurt them; they will lay hands on the sick, and they will recover.” (Mark 16:17-18)